Trumpettes Go Crazy After Drink Spills into Pool
(Please view the story below before reading this follow-up)
URBANA--In what had already been a traumatic day for many, a drink of Mexican origin was spilled into the pool at the Billing household sparking a rampage by two female members of the Marching Illini Trumpets.
Before the accident occurred, newly fossilized grad student Brad Wheaton was remarking about how shameful it was that a lone drink was sitting on the rim of the pool with no one finishing it. Two minutes later, an errant throw of a pool toy by Wheaton took the drink right into the pool. The looks on the faces of fossil trumpette Val Billing and current trumpette Renae Tondini were frozen in horror.
Wheaton did not originally think any trouble would happen, but he quickly realized his problem when the two started coming after him in estrogen-riddled anger. The screams and rants of the trumpettes were both incoherent and unintelligible (reminiscent of Amazonian warriors) as Wheaton scrambled aboard a floating inner tube to escape the dangerous waters.
This was not enough, however, as Billing and Tondini promptly flipped Wheaton off of the tube and into the abyss. Tondini could be heard shouting "The Power of Women!" in between the screams that were caught on footage taken with a cell phone. Just like the previous article, we advise all of you who fit any of the litany of conditions to use discretion when viewing.
We will continue to cover this crap as long as it keeps happening.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Breaking Trumpet News
Legendary Fight Breaks Out at Residential Pool
URBANA--Two former MI Trumpets let a heroic battle of words turn ugly yesterday as a wrestling match claimed the dignity of Andy Gradl and Scott Wujek.
What appeared to be a civilized conversation between the two became quite violent in a hurry. Bystanders at the home of Val Billing were shocked and dismayed as Gradl and Wujek fervently fought over the answer to the following conundrum:
"A plane crashes on the U.S.-Canada border. It crashes so that half of the plane lies in America while the other half lies in Canada. Where do you bury the survivors?"
Gradl was insistent that the answer was America while Wujek equally insisted it was Canada. (The answer is, in fact, "nowhere" because you do not bury survivors. That would be silly.)
The conversation turned ugly as soon as they realized their disagreement with each other. Eyewitnesses at the Billing household overheard the following dialogue. Vulgar words have been edited out for no damn good reason:
Gradl: You bury the survivors in ^%#$^%#$ America!
Wujek: NO! You bury the survivors in %$#@%$@# Canada!
This entire argument repeated itself for 7 minutes, 37 seconds until Gradl picked up a Super Soaker 50 (circa 1988) and began pumping the gun while firing at Wujek. He did so despite the fact he was not wearing swim trunks but was wearing "a very nice shirt" according to girlfriend Renae Tondini. Wujek eventually found a similar model and began firing back at Gradl. The two then began chasing each other around the pool perimeter as many patrons in the pool fought for control of inner tubes that would protect them from the sprays. It is believed that no one was hurt in the scuffle save for some tickling and errant splashing.
Wujek eventually caught Gradl and appeared to say "F-You Andy Gradl" before taking him down into the pool. Actual video footage is available of the disturbing scene. For those of you who are squeamish, faint-hearted, anemic, allergic to nuts, lactose intolerant, under the age of 17.5, weigh less than 110 pounds, take the good take the bad take them both and there you have the facts of life, or happen to be pregnant, we advise you to view at your own risk.
Needless to say, the other partygoers were helpless and stupefied at the sight of the two gladiators jousting on American soil. One anonymous guest went so far as to call one of them "Gemini" although it is not known which of the two the name was intended for. The final words of the movie (Tondini's "Oh no! Save the phone!") left a slight touch of comic relief on the tragedy. We'll have continuing coverage as more information becomes available.
URBANA--Two former MI Trumpets let a heroic battle of words turn ugly yesterday as a wrestling match claimed the dignity of Andy Gradl and Scott Wujek.
What appeared to be a civilized conversation between the two became quite violent in a hurry. Bystanders at the home of Val Billing were shocked and dismayed as Gradl and Wujek fervently fought over the answer to the following conundrum:
"A plane crashes on the U.S.-Canada border. It crashes so that half of the plane lies in America while the other half lies in Canada. Where do you bury the survivors?"
Gradl was insistent that the answer was America while Wujek equally insisted it was Canada. (The answer is, in fact, "nowhere" because you do not bury survivors. That would be silly.)
The conversation turned ugly as soon as they realized their disagreement with each other. Eyewitnesses at the Billing household overheard the following dialogue. Vulgar words have been edited out for no damn good reason:
Gradl: You bury the survivors in ^%#$^%#$ America!
Wujek: NO! You bury the survivors in %$#@%$@# Canada!
This entire argument repeated itself for 7 minutes, 37 seconds until Gradl picked up a Super Soaker 50 (circa 1988) and began pumping the gun while firing at Wujek. He did so despite the fact he was not wearing swim trunks but was wearing "a very nice shirt" according to girlfriend Renae Tondini. Wujek eventually found a similar model and began firing back at Gradl. The two then began chasing each other around the pool perimeter as many patrons in the pool fought for control of inner tubes that would protect them from the sprays. It is believed that no one was hurt in the scuffle save for some tickling and errant splashing.
Wujek eventually caught Gradl and appeared to say "F-You Andy Gradl" before taking him down into the pool. Actual video footage is available of the disturbing scene. For those of you who are squeamish, faint-hearted, anemic, allergic to nuts, lactose intolerant, under the age of 17.5, weigh less than 110 pounds, take the good take the bad take them both and there you have the facts of life, or happen to be pregnant, we advise you to view at your own risk.
Needless to say, the other partygoers were helpless and stupefied at the sight of the two gladiators jousting on American soil. One anonymous guest went so far as to call one of them "Gemini" although it is not known which of the two the name was intended for. The final words of the movie (Tondini's "Oh no! Save the phone!") left a slight touch of comic relief on the tragedy. We'll have continuing coverage as more information becomes available.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Season Ticket Sales Reach New High
Here's an update on 2007 season ticket sales from the official Web site:
http://fightingillini.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/071907aaa.html
Yup, gonna be loud this year.
http://fightingillini.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/071907aaa.html
Yup, gonna be loud this year.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Second Sectional of 2007--Lots of Wind and Cake
Our second sectional was held at Lincoln-Way East in Frankfort this past weekend. It was great to see more of our new members come out for this one, and we had many of our Chicagoland areas represented well. The icebreaker was a tad less risque this time around, but we still got plenty of responses to "favorite super power".
The music section leaders covered all of the traditional music and most of the same stands tunes as last time, and the marching section leaders went over the same standing fundamentals from before. All of the section leaders commented at one point or another how great it looked and sounded for July. We're clearly off to a great start, and it's going to progress quickly once band camp starts. Our fans are in for a very entertaining year from both the team and the MI.
After the sectional, we returned to Matt's house for the cookout. Along the way, we managed to make a bunch of Frankfort and Mokena residents think Matt was leading a funeral procession as about 12 cars followed his black Intrepid back to his house. Despite high winds, we managed to squeeze four innings out of a Wiffle ball game with Tim Schwaegler's team winning by five runs despite a lackluster performance at the plate by the Schwaeg (swing and a miss, strike three).
Once the game ended, the last surprise of the day arrived at the porch. For those of you who weren't there, you'll just have to ask us about the cake. Here are two hints: chocolate and big.
Band Camp starts about one month from now. Enjoy the rest of your summers because it will be here before you know it.
The music section leaders covered all of the traditional music and most of the same stands tunes as last time, and the marching section leaders went over the same standing fundamentals from before. All of the section leaders commented at one point or another how great it looked and sounded for July. We're clearly off to a great start, and it's going to progress quickly once band camp starts. Our fans are in for a very entertaining year from both the team and the MI.
After the sectional, we returned to Matt's house for the cookout. Along the way, we managed to make a bunch of Frankfort and Mokena residents think Matt was leading a funeral procession as about 12 cars followed his black Intrepid back to his house. Despite high winds, we managed to squeeze four innings out of a Wiffle ball game with Tim Schwaegler's team winning by five runs despite a lackluster performance at the plate by the Schwaeg (swing and a miss, strike three).
Once the game ended, the last surprise of the day arrived at the porch. For those of you who weren't there, you'll just have to ask us about the cake. Here are two hints: chocolate and big.
Band Camp starts about one month from now. Enjoy the rest of your summers because it will be here before you know it.
Monday, July 02, 2007
2007 Season Kicked Off with First Summer Sectional
This past weekend, the Marching Illini Trumpets unofficially began the 2007 season with the first of two summer sectionals. About 30 members made it to Champaign where they rehearsed music, reviewed some fundamentals, and spent time getting to know each other. It was a great time for all, and the section leaders felt very pleased with how it went.
Special thanks to Renae for hosting the party afterwards. The food was wonderful, and it was nice reliving some of the best moments of 2006 with the highlights DVD.
Our second sectional will take place in Frankfort on July 14th. We hope many of you can make it out there for our last meeting before camp begins in August. There's also a rumor that Matt's side yard may just be spray painted for a game of Whiffle Ball if the weather's nice and the parents don't mind looking at foul lines for a week (and yeah, it's been done before).
One last thing: if you've got an idea for the blog, run it by the section leaders. It was good last year, but we can do so much more with it.
Special thanks to Renae for hosting the party afterwards. The food was wonderful, and it was nice reliving some of the best moments of 2006 with the highlights DVD.
Our second sectional will take place in Frankfort on July 14th. We hope many of you can make it out there for our last meeting before camp begins in August. There's also a rumor that Matt's side yard may just be spray painted for a game of Whiffle Ball if the weather's nice and the parents don't mind looking at foul lines for a week (and yeah, it's been done before).
One last thing: if you've got an idea for the blog, run it by the section leaders. It was good last year, but we can do so much more with it.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
